SBP Race: Meet the Candidates

Democracy is not a spectator sport!

The 2019 Student Body President elections are on Feruary 12th and we are here to help you be the most informed voter possible. Here is a list of all the UNC 2019 presidential hopefuls:

1. Charlotte

The city of Charlotte is running for Student Body President on a platform of advancing the interests of all students from Charlotte. “We’re tired of seeing so many kids from Charlotte not be able to get all the benefits that come from being from Charlotte” said Charlotte.

2. Gary

Gary, also known as the Pit Preacher, is running on a platform of purging sin from UNC’s campus. “We have to save the university from masturbators and the fornicators,” said Gary. He also wants to lower student fees.

3. Raleigh

Raleigh is running because Charlotte is running.

4. Joseph Kony

Joseph Kony, the commander of the Lord’s Resistance Army, is excited to enter student politics. “I just feel like I have the right kind of experience to represent young people,” said Joseph.

5. Jeb Bush

“Jeb!” said Jeb Bush.

6. Tar Heel Bike

Tar Heel Bike is running on a platform of combatting racism on campus.

7. Farol Colt

“Never been to UNC before but it seems like a nice place,” said Farol. “I’d sure love to lead people here.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s