Looming Cataclysmic Weather Event Makes Student Wonder If There Will Be Class

CHAPEL HILL, NC- As Hurricane Dorian, a category 5 hurricane and one of the strongest such storms on record, threatens to bring unprecedented destruction to the Eastern seaboard of the United States, area student Michael Fuller wondered to himself late Sunday if class might get cancelled this week.

“At first I was like no way class gets cancelled and then I heard ‘category 5’ and I thought, shit, maybe!” said Fuller, who is hoping that he will not have to wake up for his 9 AM econ class on Tuesday.

The storm, which many point to as an example of the increasing strength and frequency of hurricanes in the era of climate change, will come as a huge relief to Fuller who didn’t finish his problem sets yet and “kinda needs another day to grind.”

“Sounds like a 4-day Labor Day weekend to me, baby,” said Fuller, who after taking a trip to Charlotte for the game Saturday and getting no work done this weekend, will be glad to have the time to continue to procrastinate. Fuller continued saying, “Sounds like it’s gonna be a shit time for the Bahamas though, that’s fucked.”

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