CHAPEL HILL, NC- It was reported late Thursday that local student and Warrior of the Living Devon Clark is actively locked in an eternal battle with demons unwittingly summoned into the Living World on Halloween, as well as with “some emotional stuff he’s been dealing with lately.”
Devon, who was granted the task of warding off Evil and protecting the Door of Elysium when he was granted the Sword of Paradise by the Archangel Michael, has reportedly been “feeling super off” over the last few months. According to a source close to Devon it “might have something to do with his difficult breakup with Stacey, but he’s also been fighting with his dad, but honestly its hard to tell because he just gets emotionally distant and goes demon hunting again.”
“I’ve just kinda had a hard time feeling motivated,” said Devon as he decapitated yet another servant of Beelzebub. “I kinda spend all my time in the Shadow Lands now just to avoid sitting with my own thoughts.”
According to Devon’s ex-girlfriend Stacey, each Halloween night when the spirits are roused again by the forces of Pandemonium, Devon is called once again to fight for the Soul of Man. “It’s kind of why we broke up,” said Stacey, “like I think he was afraid of confrontation or maybe commitment, but I felt like I wasn’t being prioritized as much as his Holy task, ya know?”
Devon, who has not yet sought professional help in terms of navigating his inability to communicate effectively with friends, family and romantic partners, has promised he’ll see someone as soon as he has subdued this year’s Dark Horde.