AMERICA- The capitalist superstructure of American society crumbled late Monday after an area student’s Marxist-feminist Instragram aesthetic successfully inspired popular revolution.
Reports show that sophomore Heather Dixon, who has been refining her social media presence to properly represent her social values for over three years, seems to have roused the global subaltern to arms by reposting a picture from the account “earth__bitch” on her Instagram story. The original post featured a crocheted image of immigrants being mistreated at the border and a caption reading “Slavery part 2.”
“We saw that and immediately organized into a revolutionary militia,” said junior Kevin Tillerman, a member of YDSA and avid reader of the “Communism” Wikipedia page. “We were kind of sitting around discussing leftist philosophy when someone pulled up Heather’s Instagram,” said Tillerman. “We knew when we saw her preferred “she/her” pronouns next to the dancing lady emoji in her bio that she would be the one to lead us in the fight against neoliberal economic hegemony.”
The revolt, which spread rapidly to every corner of the nation, successfully overthrew the American federal government and proceeded to nationalize several industries. “Without Heather’s successful use of social media to broadcast her political positions, we would not be here today,” said the recently elected Interim U.S. President Joe Clark, who had previously been a member of the oppressed Instagram-using proletariat.
At press time, Ms. Dixon, whose dad is a powerful investment banker, was executed as a member of the liberal intelligentsia.