Politically Active Student Supports Bernie When In Right Company

CHAPEL HILL, NC- Area student and likely Democratic voter Tom Hardwell strongly supports the democratic socialist candidate Senator Bernie Sanders when he is in the right company.

“I really agree with his vision for a nation without stark inequality and destructive monopolies when I’m around friends who also think that,” said Hardwell. “They are so passionate so I have decided to also be passionate when I am with them.”

Hardwell, who in reality is somewhat uncomfortable with radical economic restructuring, and thinks the rhetoric of the progressive left is perhaps overwrought, has decided to not think that because other people will yell at him. “One time I said I supported Buttigieg and someone called me a fascist,” said Hardwell, “so I told them I was joking and I like Bernie.”

“We know he’s a neoliberal phony,” said Bernie supporter Raven Jasper, “but he’s fun so we don’t mention it.”

At press time, Hardwell was experiencing deep confusion masked as progressive enthusiasm over the Iowa Caucus results.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s