Student Who Takes Unprescribed Amphetamines Before Every Exam Concerned About Biden’s Mental Readiness

CHAPEL HILL, NC- Area student voter Rob Miller, who self-medicates with the focus enhancing drug Adderall before every test, is reportedly concerned about Joe Biden’s mental readiness for the presidency. “I’m just not sure he can be trusted to stay on top of things and remember everything he will need to in order to perform when it really counts,” said Miller.

According to Miller, who can no longer study without taking a large dose of amphetamines, Biden will not receive his vote in November. “I mean… have you seen him on TV? He just can’t focus! It’s honestly disturbing.”

Miller, who is pass/failing all his classes this semester, says he hopes whoever serves as president will be able to handle all the tasks of the office with a clear mind and deliberate purpose.

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